Sunday, March 1, 2015

★This Is Gospel★And How The Song Relates To Me★

So, I want to take a moment and post a blog here. Lately, I've been listening to Panic! At The Disco a lot, and I can't help but think about the song This Is Gospel and how it relates to my life. I'm going to highlight the lyrics that I believe relates to me a lot. Overall the song is basically someone fighting with their past, and past relationships. This was originally written for Spencer Smith, may he be doing so much better, and well I took it personally too.



This is gospel for the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies
From pieces of broken memories  

So, I'll be typing in italics so you know that it's not part of the lyrics. 
The beginning pretty much speaks a lot to me.  Growing up I pretty much locked away who I was because I put up a front around my family because I didn't get a long with them and they didn't much approve of what I liked, and what I wanted to do with my life. The last lyric can represent the "broken memories" of my childhood. I felt really 





Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
(I'll only highlight this simply because no matter what, I'm going to do what I want to do)
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet

If you love me let me go (If you love me, then leave me alone. I'm living my own life now)
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
(The Verbal abuse from my father)
The fear of falling apart (Countless times breaking down not sure what to do)
And truth be told, I never was yours (I may be related to you by blood, but I'm not yours to                                                               control)
The fear, the fear of falling apart  

So this big old chunk is by far my favorite. Do I consider what they did to me criminal? yes. 
I am not who they wanted me to be, and they indeed wished to drag me down. (They being my father's family)  I wrote next to it how it relates to me.

Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

This is gospel for the vagabonds,
Never-do-wells and insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect impostors

I'm going to highlight this in a different color because I have an idea how it can relate to me.
I followed people to gain some insight on how to be but they too ended up trying to drag me down to their pit of sorrow. 



Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world
Bury me alive
'Cause I won't give up without a fight 

I really love this section because a lot of times people may think they have won in bringing you down but in reality you fire back. I got to a high place in my life, and it's basically a "Fuck you" to those who said I couldn't. 

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

Oh, the fear of falling apart
Oh, the fear, the fear of falling apart
Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart
Oh (This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Here's the music video:



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