Wednesday, January 27, 2016

★The Truth About The Grieving Process★

It was hard when my Mother died. I felt like my whole world was shattering around me but at the same time keeping  enough composure to make it through the day. I did not want to skip the semester of school because I know that is something that my Mother would not want, but I did take any help I could take.  The grieving process can take so long that you may never fully finish grieving but you learn to live with the current situation in order to just forget it for the moment.

At first, I thought that I had come to terms with my Mother's death. I thought that I had fully accepted it and tried to stay strong for my brother. I was wrong. The truth was that I felt that I had lost my best friend and I felt like it wasn't fair that she had gone so suddenly. I was destroyed inside, and I question why God would do something as to take my Mother away from me. The emotions began to settle in, and I was crying uncontrollably at random. I thought that I write down the truth about the grieving process, or at least a few things that I know about it.

1. Everyone grieves differently:  No one grieves the same way as other people. No one actually follows the 5 steps of the grieving process. Some people make skip some while others may stay in one step more than the other. I learned that the hard way. I thought that I wouldn't get angry because I have nothing to be angry about but there was always something that I come up with to be angry about my mother's death whether it be towards someone else or towards myself. There is guilt too, because  you will think of things that you wished you could have done before the passing of your loved one.

2. It's okay To take time to mourn the loss: One thing that I think I could have done differently to prevent certain things from happening is that I could have taken the time for myself to mourn the loss of my Mother. Losing a Mother is a hard thing to swallow, and they are a big part of your life. I understand there are some mother's that are not as nice as others but for me, my Mother was my best friend.  I didn't take a whole lot of time for myself because as soon as I got back up to Wisconsin I jumped back into classes, and just tried to bury myself in my studies but I ended up not doing so well because I lost the motivation to continue on.

3. Anything can trigger you to cry and that's okay: Sometimes a song, or even a tv show can trigger you to cry. Even a family passing by can trigger it but that's okay. I remember sitting in O'Charley's with my family and the song "Say Something" played followed by "I hope you dance". There are going to be things that trigger you to cry and it's just best to let it flow. If you feel that you don't want to do it in public then wait until you're home or somewhere safe to let it out. Letting it out can help tremendously.

4. It's good to have good support, and even good to seek counseling if needed: There are various of support systems that can help with the healing process. While you will feel that this void will never be filled, there are some things that you can do to at least make it through the day and put your life together. Look up grief support groups, seek counseling, and make sure you have a good support system within your family. My college was very supportive when my Mother passed, and I am always grateful for that. When I received the phone call about my Mother, my boyfriend was there when I got the news. On the phone I tried to keep it together but I knew he knew that something bad had happened. He refused to let me go by myself along with my friend's mother to Indianapolis.  Having a good support system to fall back on helps a lot.

I hope these 4 things help you through your tough time. If you have any questions, please feel free to message me on facebook, or tweet me and I will get to you in a timely manner. :)

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